True Gender Roles

By El Che


In today’s alleged gender neutral society where divorce rates are above 50% and according to the Center for Disease Control, National Illegitimacy Rates are approximately 40%, it seems to me that the men and women in America have lost touch with ourselves and each other. What made our grandparents and great grandparent’s relationship last so long and ours not be able to withstand 1/3 of those hardships? What or who is to blame for the fact that if women have always been from Venus and men from Mars, for some reason, recently, we can’t both coexist on earth. I am not a relationships expert, or a psychologist, but I have been married, divorced, a womanizer, a family man, a faithful man, a liar, a wonderful lover and a friend. Hopefully one or more of these attributes qualifies me to speak on what I believe can grow or destroy a relationship.

Starting with Men:
Today, a lot of men seem to want it both ways. We want a freak in the sheets, good mother to our children, loyal woman, supporter, and personal chef. Yet, we want each of these attributes from many different women while we deceive each of them about the other’s existence. From experience, I have learned that this is the first and perhaps most fatal mistake. There is nothing wrong with liking the ladies, and if you need more than one to satisfy you, I can’t argue that you’re a bad person. For example Bob Marley, Martin Luther King Jr., etc. However, once you break trust in any relationship, it is nearly impossible to totally repair. Imagine squeezing a tube of toothpaste all over the wall, and then trying to put it back in the tube, without damaging it. Sometimes the things we squeeze out, we cannot replace. If you desire more than one woman, you’d be amazed at the results, if you were just open and honest about it. It doesn’t mean that you won’t have to deal with the resentment of their knowledge, but at least you won’t have to deal with the shock and awe of their discovery. A real man, is a protector, a provider, a counselor, and a servant of his community. I don’t believe any man should be as pretty as his woman and it also his responsibility to set the standard for acceptable behavior in his relationship and/or family. A man is an example to a woman of what men should be. A woman then reflects who you are as a man to the world.

A Woman’s Place:
Women please be warned, it would be a mistake to your life, spirit and relationship to ingest Western media and culture, to the extent that you lose touch with your nature as a woman. While men and women can approach many of the same tasks with the same level of intelligence, we have to acknowledge the fact that men and women are biologically different. Emotionalism is looked down upon as a negative trait when in actuality it can be a strength. Women’s intuition is real, and it saves lives! Think about the time when you were up to no good, and your mother or grandmother intervened because they had a “gut feeling.” If you are a woman, think about a “gut feeling,” that you had about a romantic partner only to realize that after you ignored it, your intuition was correct and could have saved you from heartache. Ladies, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, to be sensitive and to embrace your feelings. It is the role of a woman to emotionally protect her family and the relationships she values. Women often have sixth sense that I believe God bestows upon you as a warning to us. How many of you have ignored those dreams that seem so realistic only to see them come to past during consciousness. Don’t fear being viewed as weak by those who could never understand your true power anyway. A successful relationship is one in which a man and a woman are dependent on each other. A man will love any woman who makes him feel like he’s needed and a woman will love any man who makes her feel like she’s the best thing that ever happened to him.